Bucket List – Prologue

We change… believe you me or not, it’s true!
It is the thing that we all humans tend to do
when finishing another chapter of our lives,
when only what is worthy in our soul survives.

I’ve noticed I have changed myself, of late
for I have turned against my hallow, messy fate.
Prioritising caught a new and broader meaning
and now my life seems less and less demeaning.

Do my pursuits in life remain the same, I wonder,
my purpose reached a greater state, or humbler?
I’ll never know until I change again, I fear…
and up until that point it all remains unclear.

Up until now, my bucket list remained unwritten,
but, as I steer away from tracks already beaten,
I find the will to finally sit down and try
to fill a list of things I want… to do before I die.

cand ne vedem…

te-as lua de umeri si te-as tranti pe pat…
tu te opui la inceput, dar mai apoi, treptat
cedezi…

si-n timp ce eu apropii buzele de ale tale,
te-ai trage inapoi. Dar cum tentatia e mare,
cedezi…

si-apoi, dansand in linii de lumina-n intuneric,
dezlantuind o pasiune ce acum e vis feeric,
cedezi…

iar in sfarsit, dupa atata asteptare crunta
se va ajunge unde trebuia sa se ajunga…
si imi vei fi cedat

Symphony to scattered dust

i sang an ode to what i thought was joy,
thinking it was my way of breaking free
from what had slowly managed to destroy
even the last remains of sanity in me.
the tune that ended my pretentious ode
had filled a glass of sorrow and disgust
up to the point in which it overflowed
with emptiness, notes turning to dust.

just like a smiling ray of sunshine, you
came by and swiftly blew away the dust.
my vision clear, now i can finally undo
my stupid creed that turned my love to lust.
You broke the bars that held me hostage
in a jail that i had built inside my soul.
now that i’m free, i’ll make a pledge
to not allow myself to ever lose control.

I’m yours… and as the hardships follow
i swear i will not make the same mistake
of pushing you away again. Once hollow,
my heart now thrives because you take
all that is evil in me, ugly and obscene
and make it beautiful, profound and good.
i’ll be your king, and you will be my queen
and i will love you like none other would.

Addendum to an ode to joy

pretentious little bastard as i’ve always been,
i’ve tried so many times to look at the unseen,
i’ve searched for that which never will be found.
though once i hoped i might escape it, now i’m bound
to what was in the past a mere figure in the sky…
illusions that we see, shapes in the clouds up high,
a smile or the saddest face reflected in a puddle
in which you step to clear away the huddle
of feelings and emotions that slowly take control,
enslaving you in whirlwinds of abismal fall…

that’s me! i am the one who jumps into the water,
head first, to clear away the thoughts of murder,
of murdering what we created throughout time
when what we had was innocent and sweet, divine.
i like to ruin everything so i can start again,
start from the point where i can feel no pain
start from the laughter, from the time we stare
each other in the eyes for hours! not a glare
is lost, for if it is, the magic goes away
and nothing brings it back… i know no other way.

so listen closely, as you’ll only hear this once:
love’s only an infatuation, love’s only having lost
what you had built for years on end. it’s the disgust
you feel when nothing else is left but lust,
carnal desire, putrified feelings of eternal sunshine,
that only last a second. i’ll show you a good time,
as long as i am not involved. So, do you get me now?
do all my words start ringing any bells somehow?
i do not love, i do not feel, i do not care…
i’m here to provide for you the after taxi fare.

That’s how you know

if someone smiles to you
on your way to who knows where.
even though he does not know you,
even though you do not share
the same creed in matters of the heart,
the same intentions or beliefs,
the same principles or fears.
if you simply smile
an unconditional smile.

if, for no apparent reason,
you’ve hit repeat
on that button in your soul
that allows a continuous flow
of feelings and emotions
to burst out with every verse
of the song repeating in your head.
no need for it to be a carol,
no need for it to talk about a baby’s birth,
or mages that deliver gifts.
it may be anything you want to play
in your mind
to set you free from all the tension,
misery,
hardships
you have or will endure
when it’s over yet again.

if you feel the strange,
intense,
overwhelming,
horribly sweet urge
to have your loved one close to you
in every second.
and if you don’t,
your life seems to have severed limbs,
scattered in all corners of the world.
and if you do,
it’s just the most wonderful time
of the year.

if you don’t feel like receiving,
but rather like giving,
as someone said that it is all about.

if it doesn’t rain,
but snow.

that’s how you know
it’s Christmas!

Dans

Nici lebedele lui Ceaikovski n-au dansat vreodata mai frumos.
Se-nvart in aer, fac piruete si-apoi se-arunca maiestuos
In gol. In graba lor, probabil au facut un pact cu vantul
Sa ii ajute sa creeze haul alb ce-a inghitit pamantul.

Nu-i deranjeaza ca, odata ce-ajung jos, se poate sa dispara.
Sunt constienti si de finalul tragic ce-i asteapta-n primavara:
Pamantul ii va inghiti de tot. Dar, totusi, uite-i ca zambesc!
Priveste-i cum se bucura de soarta lor, sunt veseli, stralucesc!

Roiesc in grupuri, parca s-ar organiza in coruri de zapada.
Pornind pe strazi, ne cheama toti sa mergem la parada
Sa ii vedem, sa-i ascultam cum canta, acompaniati de vant
Si sa dansam si noi cu ei, pe strazi, prin ceruri ori in gand.

Dar, din pacate, dansul ce-l dansam se va sfarsi indata
Si fiecare vom ramane singuri, amintindu-ne de-odata
Cand am dansat si fulgii ne priveau zambind din ceruri
Si-am indraznit si-am indraznit sa ne iubim in mii de feluri.

My sky

You have the most amazing blue eyes ever…
The sky can fit within them, there’s no doubt.
I see the sea itself go on and on forever,
showing a world I’ve never known enough about.
And when you smile, it floods my dreams
with what I think true happiness must be.
Oh, wait! My eyes deceive me, as it seems,
for your blue eyes are all but blue to me.

I know, they’re green, like grass or trees!
They look just like the smell of grass
you’ve barely cut and then you cease
whatever you were doing just to grasp
a scent of heaven! But closer as I look,
discovering that they have changed once more,
I realise, profoundly wounded, deeply shook,
that never did your eyes seem green at all.

I’m sorry! I should’ve known they’re black!
Or now, because you’re angry and upset
they turned to this tempestuous delight
which, I must say, is rather scary, yet,
deliciously intriguing, amazingly profound,
for never have I seen such passion in your soul.
I see myself unable to be uttering a sound,
because the black is also gone, what do you know!

Oh, brown-eyed creature that torments me so,
how foolish must I seem to you right now!
You have to see that I was taken by the flow
of my emotions! I have to make it work somehow
and make you see the real me. I’ll tell you what:
why don’t you tell me the colour of your eyes?
I will not tell you how beautiful they are, but
I’ll take that colour and paint it on the skies.

My sky… it may be black, or brown or blue.
It may remind me of the smell of grass or not…
at least I’d know I’ll always have a part of you
that’s right there next to me no matter what.
Because i want you to be mine in every minute
that fills the hours of the ever passing days.
You’ll brighten up my sky by being on it.
You’ll be my sun. Your eyes will be the rays.

You, me and strawberries again

You’re yawning…
You stretch your arms above your head. You smile,
Letting me know that you enjoy the way I wake you up.
I pull the velvet drapes aside. Then, for a while,
I let the sun come in and light the whole room up.

I’m wondering…
Is it the way in which the rays light up your features
That makes you so insanely beautiful today?
Your face is filled with light, your smile glitters
As I sit still and find my thoughts in disarray.

”Have a bite…”
Is all that I can mumble before you tell me to shut up.
I talk too much, it’s true, but how else could you know:
“The world’s a better place now that you’ve woken up.
Your eyes shine brighter than the morning sun!”

Set it free…

as i see it:
i let my fingers drop onto your lips
and then, i slowly move my fingertips
downwards,
and touch your chin, your neck,
your shoulders and your breasts,
your belly and then
downwards yet again,
only to let you know
where my lips will go.

over and over,
your passionate lover
will make you burst in flames.
he’ll break the chains
that have held you captive
inside your own jail of solitude.
he’ll have you over and over again
as you’ll have him…
inside you…
over and over again.

and you’ll both rejoice
in pleasure beyond belief
in a world where there’s no one else
and nothing else exists.

Some day…

Some day,
I’ll hold your hands in mine
and I will tell you
just how much i’ve longed for your embrace,
how all the nights seemed endless
without your breath upon my skin.

I’ll look into your eyes
and fall into the depths of your soul
with no chance of ever getting out…
not that i’d ever want to, anyway.

I’ll whisper in your ears
the words you’ve wanted me to tell you
everytime we met
by accident or not,
everytime we talked
but didn’t have the strength
to say them outloud.

I’ll take the deepest breath
a man has ever taken in this world,
to drown myself in waves of pure delight
as I smell your hair,
your skin,
the perfume that flows from within you.

I’ll kiss your lips
like it’s the first and last kiss
i’ll ever give,
backing it up with all the passion
that has resided inside me
throughout all the years
that have gone by.

And that will be some day…